2022 Fic Writing Year in Review

[aceaceaceace]

Quick Hits

Posted Word Count: 102,840
Unposted WIP Word Count: ~20,000

Fics Completed: 5
Fics in Progress: 1 on AO3, 5 in drafts

Longest Fic Posted: 54,202 (Maybe the Truth)
Shortest Fic Posted: 5,143 (One More Time)

Fandoms: SHINee (2), SuperM (1), NCT/Seventeen (1), Ateez (1), OnlyOneOf (1)
Ships: Minho/Key (2), Taemin/Kai, Xiaojun/Jun (1), gen fic (1), KB/Yoojung

Events: XXL X-over Xtravaganza (2), Summer of SHINee (1), Trans Choi Jongho Tag Flood (1), Yuletide (1)

Favorite Opening Line: If Dejun time traveled and told his 2015 self that in five years he would be riding a taxi through Seoul wearing a Princess Jasmine costume to hook up with a guy, his 2015 self would’ve thought he was insane. (Jasmine, Deflowered)

Favorite Ending Line: He sets himself on fire, and he doesn’t burn. (On Fire)

Year Overview

2022 was my first time writing kpop RPF or any type of RPF for that matter. Actually, until like 2021, I didn’t even read RPF because it was a personal squick. Lore drop 1! I’m aromantic and asexual and part of that for me is this: the more real someone is to me, the more ick I feel thinking about anything romantic/sexual to do with them. Mainly, this applies to people I actually know, but if I’m familiar with a celebrity from interviews and such, anything non-platonic about them is a pass from me. I can read explicit smut about fictional characters without batting an eyelash, but if a friend mentions kissing someone, I have to suppress my ick impulse.

However, in 2021, I found myself “between fandoms.” I’d exhausted everything I wanted to read in my current fandom but I hadn’t yet found a new fandom to read fic in. I was watching a lot of kpop content at that time, so I decided to try tapping into the deep, deep well of kpop RPF and began “exposure therapy” to desensitize my ick impulse. Imagine the fic reading equivalent of watching a horror movie between your fingers because it was basically like that at first. Eventually though, the exposure therapy worked, and I had a brand-new realm of fic to explore…and the treatment was such a success that I decided to start writing it too. I even wrote smut!

The other noteworthy thing about this year was my total word count. Over 100K! That is a huge amount for me, firstly because I am a slow fiction writer. And secondly (lore drop 2) I am a professional writer, so it takes serious willpower to put myself in front of a keyboard again after finishing work for the day. I didn’t initially intend to shoot for 100K, but during the autumn, I realized I might hit it and decided to push a bit to make it happen. It came down to the wire, but I succeeded! Yay!

Fic by Fic Notes

 

Maybe the Truth
SHINee, Minho/Key, Minho POV, 54,202 words
One sentence summary: Minho grows up, grows into his idol career, and grows increasingly aware that he might have been lying to himself about some things.

This fic was my beloved child this year, and it probably will continue to be so for a good while. The idea lived in my head for years in various forms, but I didn’t know if I’d ever actually write it. It didn’t come out perfect (no story of such scope could, I think.) But I’m very proud of how it came out.

I really want to do an extended author note for this fic at some point, so I’ll keep my thoughts here as brief-ish. The main thing is that I think I was at the perfect point in my life to write a fic like this. Broadly speaking, it’s about someone hitting their 30s and looking back at their life, their career, their relationships, etc. (For reference, I’m only two months younger than Minho.) A lot of thought went into this, from my personal reflections and the historical research to how I wanted to speak with other fans about the hard topics.

The other main thing is that I was really touched by the response to this fic. I worried a lot about how the story would be received, especially the chapter that dealt with the aftermath of Jonghyun’s passing.  But everyone wrote in with such kind words and trusted me with their own feelings. I truly felt honored, more than I can say.

Remember What You Told Me
SuperM, Taemin/Kai, Kai POV, 6,202 words
One sentence summary: Kai panics when he wakes up after a drunk Vegas marriage to Taemin.

This is one of the fics I wrote for XXL X-over Xtravaganza 2022. I struggled here because I’m not actually very familiar with Kai? I know him most well in SuperM, and I’ve seen some of his solo content and EXO content. But compared to his long history, my knowledge is like a tablespoon compared to an ocean, hahaha. So, if you read this and thought I characterized him well, it’s a miracle. I did my best.

My friend kmac read the early draft version of this and remarked on how she would’ve taken the prompt down a comedic route, but I went down angst avenue instead. The finished version of the story isn’t angsty, I think, but it probably shows that I am most comfortable writing characters who are stressed, anxious, and/or depressed.

A highlight of this fic for me was writing Taemin’s relationship with his manager Euisoo. It’s a small part of this fic, but I had fun. I also had fun with the Baekhyun and Kai interactions.

Jasmine, Deflowered
NCT/Seventeen, Jun/Xiaojun, Xiaojun POV, 7,945 words
One sentence summary: Xiaojun goes over to Jun’s dorm for a hookup…dressed as Princess Jasmine. 

This is the other fic written for XXL X-over Xtravaganza 2022. It was my first proper crossover fic and also my first time establishing a new ship tag on AO3. (It’s still the only Jun/Xiaojun fic!) Of everything I’ve posted this year, it’s easily my most light-hearted and my horniest. However, I still managed to work in some insecurity because, come on, it’s me we’re talking about.

The main challenge of this fic was the enigma of how to characterize Jun. I know Seventeen as a group decently well, but it’s a big group and Jun is one of the least flashy members. A lot of research went into figuring out how to characterize him. It doesn’t help that he has a really difficult-to-capture personality, in my opinion. However, I had fun getting to know him better!

I picked up this prompt because it was the only Xiaojun one, and Xiaojun is my funky little dude. Especially the Xiaojun from the time period this is set in—early career, visibly on edge a lot of the time, massive middle child energy. The Xiaojun of today comes across as a lot of confident and relaxed; this fic sort of serves as a possible stepping stone for how he got there. But at the end of the day, I just thought he deserved a great first-time bottoming experience, hahaha.

On Fire
SHINee, Minho/Key, Key POV, 11,297 words
One sentence summary: Key struggles with self-esteem and also struggles to realize he’s crushing on alleged straight boy Minho.

I wrote this for Summer of SHINee Round 4 based on a prompt quote about how the speaker would be set on fire if a certain guy loved him. Hence, the title. But the title is an onion! It has layers! “On Fire” refers to being set on fire (as it is used in the quote) but also “on fire” in the “let’s talk about fire” sense. A minor motif throughout the fic is how Key sees Minho as someone who carries fire inside him—and that he sees himself as someone incapable of this. The fire thematically can be understood as confidence and charisma in the sense of emotional warmth that draws people in, among other things. Kibum’s arc across the fic is becoming/learning to see himself as someone who has these qualities as well. Finally, each part of the fic is titled after the steps of creating fire (Kindling, Strike, Spark, Catch, Burn) so it is literally “on fire.”

Anyway. This is another “SHINee member growing up” fic, so it pairs with Maybe the Truth, although they aren’t actually related to each other. While MTT deals with Minho’s ignorance about himself and about the world, the Kibum in OF is keenly aware of himself and how he doesn’t fit in the world—unless he can make a place for himself in it. It is a shipping fic, but the real emphasis is on self-love, specifically how self-love can be difficult for queer people in hostile environments. There is romance, but the fic also focuses a lot of on platonic bonds like queer friendship, queer mentorship, and the wider queer community because that stuff is really important to me. (After all, I’m a queer person whose queerness has nothing to do with romance.)

Ahh, I’m getting wordy, so, final thought: Of all my fics posted on this account, this one features an OC most heavily. I know OCs can be a turn-off for some readers, but I really love working with them, and frankly, the OC here is one of the best parts of this fic—readers agree! If you’re a writer who feels hesitant about utilizing an OC even though it seems appropriate, I really encourage you to go for it.

 

Self Made
Ateez, gen fic, Jongho POV, 18,051+ (WIP)
One sentence summary: Jongho confronts the narrow scope of masculinity he operates in at the same time someone tries to expose his transgender identity to the public.

All right, so, this is a non-shipping fic about the least fic-popular member focused on an under-discussed aspect of a minority community. Basically: it’s niche. Probably even more niche than my one-of-a-kind rarepair PWP. I’ll be honest, I thought about changing aspects of the fic to give it a broader readership (writing Jongho in a ship, adding fandom’s most popular ship as a subplot, etc.) But ultimately, I decided to stay true to my original vision: writing the kind of transgender idol fic I want to read but can’t find.

Transgender idol fic exists! (There’s not a lot, but it exists!) However, most of it doesn’t really engage with how being transgender would work in the idol industry realistically or is focused on identity realization/coming out stories. Don’t get me wrong, I like coming out stories, but that part of the journey is already like a decade ago for me. I want to read about other aspects of the trans experience too! For example: the mundane inconveniences and miseries of being on hormone replacement therapy, getting boxed into a strongly gendered presentation to have your identity respected, the anxiety of knowing your current life could crumble if the wrong bit of information is revealed, and so on.

Basically, transgender life begins at the realization and coming out stages, but that is where most stories tend to end. I wanted to write about stuff beyond that in the idol industry setting, even if no one but me was interested. That said…please check it out if anything I said here interested you at all, hahaha. Final note: I posted the first chapter to coincide with the Trans Choi Jongho tag flood event organized by Trans Teez Fest.

One More Time
OnlyOneOf, KB/Yoojung, KB POV, 5143 words
One sentence summary: KB and Yoojung fail to kiss twice, but the third time is the charm.

I started this year writing “30 year old man realizes he’s bisexual,” and I ended this year writing “30 year old realizes he’s bisexual” LMAO. OnlyOneOf has a relatively small fanbase, but they had one hell of year with their six-part series of interconnected gay solo debut music videos. (Final part coming out very soon!) And when I say gay, I mean gay. Kissing gay. Implied off-screen fucking gay. The first video is dedicated “to all those lovers that couldn’t be blessed” gay. It was a serious gamble, and while it didn’t gain them mainstream recognition, it certainly exposed queer fans at home and abroad to them.

Anyway, the series was a kpop highlight for me this year, and when I saw OnlyOneOf’s KB and Yoojung among the Yuletide nominations, I knew I wanted to write a fic for them. And so I did! Time constraints meant I had to keep this fic brief, but I had fun trying to get into the head of the “late debuter” KB, my 1992 buddy.

KB is a rare breed of idol in the modern industry where most idols began training as a teen or even younger—or were at least attending a dance/voice academy, singing at church, something. KB started post-enlistment in his mid-20s, debuted at age 27, and—as far as I can tell—the only musical training he had prior to that was guitar lessons. Yoojung, by contrast, is five years younger than KB, has danced competitively since he was a kid, appeared as a dancer for the Wonder Girls and in Seventeen’s pre-debut show in junior high, and majored in dance at one of those current/future idol high schools before even entering the company. (Also…Yoojung comes across as a “can’t hide it” type of gay guy, whereas KB is more of an enigma.) My goal while writing was to explore the differences in their backgrounds and how that affects their perspectives. Plus, you know, kissing.

Comments

[kpopwinemom]

I read the 3x Kiss a few days ago and did not realize it was you!!!!! I found it raiding someone's bookmarks LOL

[aceaceaceace]

OMG??? I swear I talked to you about it

[kpopwinemom]

I feel like you did bc when I read it I thought I had read it before but I bet that is just YOU TELLING ME ABOUT IT.

[averytree]

I don't know if you read through the masterlist of recs generated by the Fic Clique's winter rec exchange, but "Maybe the Truth" was recced three different times, by three different people, and one of them was a beautiful hand-picked rec for me! Seeing it on the list so many times made me think it was a beloved story from several years ago to have reached such fandom prominence- I was very surprised to see in your wrap up here it's less than a year old! I am very excited to dig into it soon.

I also really liked reading your thought process here behind your trans Jongho fic. I'm also trans, I've been out for over 5 years, and I am also interested in stories about trans life post- identity realization and coming out. I had been slightly holding off on reading that fic because I don't ship Jongho with anyone; learning that the story is gen makes me want to read it more! I am also aro-ace spec and while I don't have quite the ick you mentioned, it does effect how and who I am able to see through a shippy lens.

And high five from another person who writes professionally as part of their job and still writes fic on the side... sometimes it feels wack to write words I legally can never sell... but fuck capitalism, I'm having a good time!

[aceaceaceace]

Wahhh, I am so late to seeing this comment, but thank you so much! I did not know anything about Fic Clique's exchange, so I am really (pleasantly) shocked to learn my fic appeared three times, really so honored. Thank you for telling me because I never would've known otherwise. I don't know if you've had time to read it yet, but I hope you enjoy it. <3

(I am also surprised by how warmly the fandom has embraced that fic because I honestly expected it to be controversial, in particular because of the chapter focused on the aftermath Jonghyun's passing. Fans are still understandably sensitive about the topic and defensive against anyone who is trying to pry into/exploit the member's private lives/feelings surrounding that topic, so I worried people would feel the story was in poor taste. On the contrary, I think a lot of folks were ready and needing some sort of outlet to explore the topic because the comments I got after that chapter went up were really heartfelt and touched me a lot.)

I'm glad to know someone else is also interested in that kind of trans fic! As I said, I did consider pairing Jongho with someone, but I didn't want to detract from what I truly wanted to focus on, and also I don't personally think he is shippable with any of the other members. There is a very light shipping subplot with Seonghwa and Hongjoong occurring the background of the story, but it is ignorable if you're not into that. Please do check it out if you're interested! It will be ending soon (hopefully...I'm aiming to get the last chapter out by the end of this month, but it might take longer than that and it may end up being not the last chapter lol.)

I do sometimes wonder why I am making the effort to write more if I'm not going to get paid for my time, but writing fics has been part of my life for much longer than my career. I don't see myself stopping at any point. I hope I am still writing fic at 100, if I live that long.